The manual (36 pages, smells like ozone, printed on something that feels like skin) warns: "Do not brew toward a mirror."
The anomaly is not in the mechanism, but in the output. The machine produces exactly what is typed, with terrifying precision. Not "coffee that tastes like chicken." Actual liquid chicken. Not "hot chocolate." Liquid, heated cocoa beans in suspension. The machine operates on a principle of , ignoring physics, biology, and common sense in favor of literal interpretation. Anomalous Coffee Machine